Since my back injury eighteen months ago, I’ve watched my world contract with modification after limitation after restriction. I used to do kickboxing workouts four times a week that made me feel more like my alpha female characters. Now, maybe once a week I seriously modify and pretend I’m kicking butt.
Hey, mind over matter, right?
I used to run, now I can’t keep up with women twice my age walking through the grocery store. It’s comical really. But I miss running. No matter how many times I tell my docs that studies show running is easier on the back than sitting, they still won’t approve it. There’s talk of a wheelchair. Gah!
That’s probably why my alpha female characters can do everything I wish I could do. Granted, I was never a martial arts expert like Jaden of Justice Incarnate. These days I probably relate best to Petra of Invasion of Justice. As an empath, she is ‘physically’ quieter than Jaden, but no less of an alpha female.
The deeper I get into the next 2096 novel, featuring the healer Mira, the more I wish her special abilities were real. Seriously. If you only knew how often I dream about Warf’s spine transplant from the Star Trek Next Generation series.
You know, I used to clean and vacuum the whole house in one day. Now I’m not supposed to do it at all. Okay, admittedly, the no-cleaning thing isn’t such a bad development. Unless you’re like me: an alpha female who likes things done when she wants them done, rather than when a family member can get it done.
Don’t think for a moment I’m not grateful for the help – I AM! My family has been awesome through all of this. It’s just me getting used to a completely different routine and lifestyle. It’s quite a challenge to keep up the alpha female, don’t mess with mom routine when your kids know you can’t last half a minute in a tickle fight.
So I’ve worked around it, accepted that every activity will go through the automatic pros and cons evaluation in my head, and I’ve revised my expectations.
The best news? The benefits of running versus sitting aside, these new limits mean I’m spending more time than ever with all the alpha female characters in my head who want a chance to kick butt in their own stories.
Live the adventure!
Hi i’m sorry to hear about your back but i know how you feel. I have had 3 surgeries on my back and at first do’s amd don’t are hard and there will be times where you will feel useless but don’t worry to much over it. I have several other rare blood disorders as well but things get better just shift to things you like to do and not want you can’t. Even if you have to find brand new outlets. That way you can let your frustrations out on the new activity by staying busy by something you like to do. Have a great Day if you need someone to talk to who knows email me ok. Have a great day Joannie jscddmj at{aol} dot [com}
Thanks so much, Joannie, for your support and words of wisdom! The adjusting is tough, but it does help to focus on what I can do. All the best!